This post is extremely overdue.  It is only my second blog post, and I'm already slacking.

My second time approaching a stranger with the intent purpose of sharing the gospel was much more natural.  I allowed for a natural conversation to arise as my family and I walked through The Grove on a busy Friday evening.  We were standing at a special light fixture they had set up, when a woman standing beside me actually initiated a conversation.  She said her name was "K".  We talked about her work as an author and about her long distance relationship with her boyfriend.  Eventually I heard her say that she had once been a youth worker, and it was then that I found my "hook".

I asked her for more information regarding her time as a youth worker.  I asked if it had been religiously affiliated.  She said that it was.  So I asked if she was still attending church, and she mentioned that she had stopped some time ago.  We quickly moved on to different topics, and we eventually went back to talking about her boyfriend.  At the end of the conversation, we took a picture for her at the light fixture, and we promised to email it to her.  I said that we would add information about our church to the email, and that she should visit sometime.  Soon after we parted ways.

As Ryan and I talked about what had just happened, he stated solemnly, "Did you notice that she showed signs of bipolar disorder?"  I acknowledged that I too noticed the signs.  Her hair, dress, and makeup was disheveled, and her speech was rushed and jumped from topic to topic.  She was nice and friendly, but with bipolar disorder Ryan and I both knew that personalities and emotions can change drastically.

Considering the events of that evening, I find myself smacked in the face by a rush of concerns and some hard-to-swallow truths:
1) Am I ready to welcome and help a woman such as "K"?  Am I willing to step outside of my comfort zone?  Is my family ready?  Is Living Way ready?
2) Do I have even an ounce of love or sorrow for "K" or for the lost?  I'll admit that as I was speaking to "K", it was not with a genuine heart.  I simply wanted to meet the commitment I had made to share Christ with at least one person a week.
3) Acknowledging the fact that I do not have a true and honest heart for the lost, God won't you grant that heart in me?

As I mentioned at the very beginning, this post is way overdue.  I know that it was in part due to the fact that I was avoiding some ugly parts of my heart that I needed to work out.  I have also neglected to share Christ with the people I encounter.  There have been some opportunities where I know that I could have brought God into the conversation, but I have felt as if I shouldn't due to the lack of love in my heart.

But as I sit here and type, I'm reminded of my active years in ministry, particularly worship ministry.  When I first began singing at church as a youth, I'll admit I didn't go up there every Sunday and sing my heart out because I loved worshipping the Lord.  I enjoyed the spotlight, and the opportunity to sing on a microphone more than anything else.  It was not until years later that God truly changed my heart into that of a worshipper.  Perhaps in the same way, God will change my heart for the lost as I continue to practice sharing Him and the work of the gospel in my life to the people I encounter.

In the meantime, please lift up a simple prayer for me:
1) That I would not be discouraged, but would keep trying.
2) That God would change my heart for the lost.

It's a simple prayer list, but I think it is a good one.

I did it.  I approached an utter stranger at Starbucks in an attempt to share my testimony.  My motivation - a growing realization that I was not doing God's will on earth in this area of my life.  The Bible says that not everyone who calls "Lord" will enter heaven, but those who do His will.  This verse had been tugging away at my heart for about a week until I finally decided, quite spontaneously, that it was time for me to start sharing the Gospel and how it has changed my life.
So during a very rare moment without the baby (R&S were out at Home Depot running errands together), I  put on my shoes and got in the car.  Before leaving the parking spot, I said this prayer:

Dear God,
Where I am going - I do not know.
To whom I will speak - I don't know.
What I will say - I don't know... But I know You will be with me.

As I drove down my street, I decided I would go to a Starbucks and I decided I needed a convo starter.  It was a horrible convo starter (you'll read what I said in a little bit) and I will never ever use it again.

I ordered my Green Tea Latte, and searched the room.  There were two fire fighters having a seemingly casual conversation on the patio, but I decided it might be better to approach a person who was by him/herself.  Then I saw a young 20-something sitting in the corner, but I feared he might think I was hitting on him.  Finally, I caught a glimpse of an older looking man sitting at his computer and smiling.  The smile made me think he must not be doing anything too serious on his computer.  So I decided he would be the one.

Me: Excuse me, could I have about five to ten minutes of your time?
Man: It depends.  How can I help you?
Me: Well let me begin by introducing myself.  My name is Evelyn.
Man: Hi Evelyn.  I'm John.  Why don't you grab that seat?
Me:  Sounds great!  Nice to meet you John. I actually approached you today because I have a project in mind.  You are actually the first person I have approached regarding this matter.  You see, I believe that everyone has a story to tell.  And from every story, there is a lesson that can be learned, or a piece of encouragment that can be found.  I would like to share my story with you and then in return listen to your life story.  In the end, my plan is to chronicle our conversation and dialogue in a blog so that others can read, share, and learn from our stories as well.

John paused for a second, with an utter look of confusion on his face.  After a moment or two he goes on to say, "So.... What is it that you want to do?"

Me: I wanted to tell you about my life in the form of a story.
John: And... Why do you want to do this?
Me: So I can create an archive of stories.
John: But... Why?
Me: I just thought it would be a wonderful way for people to share and learn from one another.
John: So you are going to start a blog about it ?
Me: Yes.
John: And other people are going to write their stories on your blog too?
Me: If they would like to, but for now I just wanted to chronicle our conversation today.
John: I see... Yeah, I'm sorry.  I have no time for this today.  I am actually in the process of sending out my résumé.
Me: That's totally fine.  I completely understand.  Thank you for your time though.  Good luck on your résumé.
John: Thanks.  It's actually something that I have to do periodically.  It is the nature of my industry.
Me: I see. What industry is that?
John: Accounting.  The thing is that there are jobs out there, but a lot of them are seasonal and temporary.  So I guess I'm kinda telling you my story now in a way.
Me: Yeah!
John: Maybe if I run into you again at this Starbucks we can talk about our stories.
Me: That sounds great John.  I'll say hello if I ever see you again.
John: Alright, bye.
Me: Bye!

So that was that.  I was so awkward and there are so many things I did wrong, but I am taking notes so that I can do a better job next time.  For instance, here are just a few changes I would like to make the next time:
1.  Start a casual conversation and allow for it to lead naturally into an opportunity to share the Gospel.  I have to believe the Spirit will lead.
2. Don't use the excuse about starting a blog at all.  While I am truly starting a blog for my personal use and accountability, it is misleading for me to say that I am approaching random people just so I can start a blog.  I am actually embarrassed that I even used this blog as a cover for the real reason why I wanted to talk to John.   It was so random and so weird.  Oh well, you live and learn.

Something I did right:
1. I went for it.  I put myself out there.  I was courageous.

Plan of action:
1. Continue to approach AT LEAST one random person a week and engage in conversation while intentionally attempting to lead the conversation to the topic of God.
2.  Request prayer support from friends and church family.
3. Seek out ways I can improve at sharing my testimony and the Gospel.

Prayer:
God, I thank you for your encouragement and support.  I know my attempts are so meager and small, but I also sense that You are so proud of me for stepping out my comfort zone.  Continue to send the right people into my life to teach me and create opportunities for me to share.  In Jesus name.